What Happened When I Invited God Into My Mess (warning: embarrassing picture to follow)

I want to share something amazing that happened when I invited God into my mess. In order to do that authentically, I felt like I needed to invite you into the very worst part of my mess so that you could understand just what I’m dealing with here.

This is our mud room. It’s where we (theoretically) hang our coats and store our shoes, boots, and winter gear. I’m so glad my husband doesn’t read this blog, because I’m sure he wouldn’t be too excited about me sharing with the world the ugly state of things. You might see this picture and judge me for being a slob, or wonder how on earth a room could get to this point, and if so that’s totally fine, my feelings aren’t hurt. I get it; I guarantee my Inner Critic is far more judgmental than any real person out there!

Maybe you don’t judge, but maybe you see this picture and feel relief that someone else has a messier room in their house than you. If so, it would actually bring me joy to know that my mess brightened someone else’s day!

But maybe you see this picture and you totally relate because you too have a room like this that you’re ashamed of. Or like me, there are times when unannounced visitors ring the doorbell and you’re mortified because of what the house looks like.

We all have areas where we struggle. For me it’s maintaining order in my home. For you it could be a relationship, being chronically late, struggling to keep a job, finances - whatever it is, it’s your mess. No matter what your own personal mess might be, I’m here to offer you hope and encouragement.

Recently I came to a breaking point where I realized something drastic had to happen. I couldn’t keep on the way I’d been doing things in my home. I would organize (thanks to a dear friend who worked with me years ago to give me tools to organize room-by-room), maintain for a (very) short time, and then things would fall apart all over again, and would remain so for longer and longer intervals. It’s like I’d just given up.

I went to the one place I go when I’m at the end of myself - God. I sat down and asked,

“I confess I haven’t been a good caretaker of this house. So what’s wrong with me? How am I so different from everyone else that I could let things get to this point? I feel like I spend a LOT of time cleaning with nothing to show for it. Please show me how I can be a better steward of this home.”

And then I listened.

I didn’t just leave white space in my mind, I started picturing myself cleaning. I thought about the fact that I love listening to podcasts while doing dishes, folding laundry or picking up the house. It occurred to me that I work very slowly when I do things this way. I remembered a time when I knew I had someone coming over in just a few minutes and how big a difference my five to ten minutes of cleaning made! It’s because I was racing the clock.

I felt like this was the key to my problem: I work hard, but not fast. I live in my head much of the time, and find it hard to focus, so I’m also not very efficient about the way I do things. I felt like the light bulb went on, and I decided that I needed a timer. Alana is a really efficient writer and uses a timer to do “writing sprints,” so I thought I could do “cleaning sprints” using a similar system.

I won’t go into my actual system - maybe that’s another post for another day! - but I have to tell you, it has revolutionized both the amount of housework I get done, and (maybe more importantly) my mindset about house work.

Look at the picture of my mud room again. I used to look at that and think it was an overwhelming mess, which would paralyze me. But now that I have been using my ten minute timer system (really it’s like a game to beat the clock), I can look at that room and know it is probably about a ten to fifteen minute task. Instead of feeling paralyzed and like a failure for the mess, I am excited to see if I can beat the timer and get it all taken care of in a ten minute period of time. When I’m done, even if it’s not totally finished in ten minutes, I feel like a winner because of the progress I’ve made, and I have momentum.

And all of this is because I invited God into my mess.

I’m not here to write about housekeeping. There are way more qualified women out there who do that well. But what I’d love for you to take away from my story is this: When you invite God into your mess - no matter what it is - you will come away transformed.

I think sometimes we compartmentalize our lives. We have spiritual issues we include God in, like making us more patient or kind or being a better wife, mother or friend. But some things like finances, housework or even planning our grocery list for the week - those are things we think of as “other” - like God wouldn’t be interested in those things. But he is. He is deeply, lovingly, amazingly interested in every part of your life. So if you have a mess in your life that you’ve felt powerless to clean up (literally or figuratively!), I would encourage you to let God in right now.

Here are a few basic steps you can take:

1. Identify your mess.

For me this was really simple…I just had to look around the house! But I also realized there were some mindset issues about housework that I needed God’s help figuring out.

2. Confess any sin or any part you’ve played in the problem

I had to confess that I had not been a good steward of our home. At times I’d procrastinated doing housework which was hard for me and felt overwhelming, instead focusing on things that came more easily.

3. Ask God to help you

This was so easy for me. I was done. I needed God’s help. For you it may not be as easy to invite God into your particular mess. If that’s the case, God will meet you where you are; he says he will (James 4:8)! I would encourage you to simply pray, “God, please help me.” He knows your situation, you don’t even need to form the words. (Romans 8:26-27)

4. Listen

This may look different for everyone. Maybe you need to take some time and read what the bible says about your situation. Or maybe you’re a visual person like me, and you can close your eyes and picture yourself in the middle of your mess, and allow God to bring things to mind. You can sit down with a journal and write down your thoughts if you enjoy writing. And don’t be discouraged if an answer doesn’t come immediately like it did for me. God might send someone to speak wisdom into your struggle, or maybe a sermon at church will address your situation perfectly. Listen until you receive your next step, and keep asking until it comes (it will come!)!

5. Choose a scripture to remind you of your mission

I chose Proverbs 31. I like reading the whole thing, because it contains so many qualities I want to strive for. But there are several that speak directly about managing your home, and it keeps my eye on the prize. Hebrews 12:1-2 is another great inspirational verse no matter what your mess:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (NIV)

Sharing my mess with you wasn’t easy - but I hope it makes it easier for you to share your own mess with God! As always, we would love to hear your personal stories, prayer requests and if/how this resonated with you today. May God bless you today, mess and all!

5 Prayer Lessons I Learned From Japanese Immersion

Here in Alaska the fireweed counts down the precious days of summer, so when the last flower has gone to seed, you know fall has officially arrived. This particular fall marked a milestone as our youngest child started kindergarten. She is the first of our three children to be enrolled in the Japanese immersion program at our neighborhood school. It happened kind of out of the blue, so I hadn’t had time to prepare her — or myself! — for such a huge transition. I asked some friends whose children had gone through the program to give me some advice about how to prepare her for her first day in class. You have to understand that two thirds of her class time is conducted only in Japanese, so she is literally immersed in a language she doesn’t understand for hours on end. We aren’t even allowed to speak English when we drop her off and pick her up; all of our interaction with teachers in English is through e-mail and a communication log that goes home every day. The bit of advice I was given over and over as I spoke to parents and teachers about how to prepare her for class was this:

Make sure she realizes that she isn’t expected to understand Japanese right away.

That seems so basic, so obvious. But several times the evening before her first day of class she said, “But I don’t know how to speak Japanese!” Each time I assured her that this was okay not to know Japanese, that it was even the point of the class - to teach her Japanese by listening, and that gradually she would begin to understand what the teachers were saying. But it would take time, and it would take weeks and months of listening and paying attention.

As I thought about this, I realized the same is true in our prayer lives. As I started seeing even more parallels I began to look at prayer in a new light, so I want to share with you five lessons I’ve learned about prayer from our journey into Japanese immersion.

1. Make sure you realize that you aren’t expected to be a “prayer expert” right away.

Just as my daughter needed to be told that she wasn’t expected to be a Japanese expert before walking into the classroom, I think sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we don’t need to be “prayer experts” (if there even is such a thing!) before we step into the throne room. Prayer isn’t a performance, or a polished display of knowledge or eloquence. It’s communion with a loving Father who loved us so much that he has invited us in to one-on-one communication with him.

If you ever feel like you’re not polished enough, or don’t have the words to say - it’s okay!

If you’ve been certain you’ve heard something from God and then it turned out not to go the way you thought it would - it’s okay!

If you think of yourself as a student embarking on a lifetime prayer adventure with God as your Teacher, it allows you to change your perspective and view “prayer failures” instead as learning experiences, launching you forward into a deeper relationship with God, and better understanding of prayer.

2. Prayer is a two-way conversation with our Teacher. We should really listen more!

If my daughter went into her class and immediately started speaking English, they would understand; they speak English fluently as well as Japanese. But my daughter is five years old. If all she did was speak her native language, she might get some basic needs met, but she would miss out on so much. Because all of the instruction is taught in Japanese, so the years of schooling and wealth of knowledge these teachers have would be lost on her because she didn’t leave time to listen.

Isn’t it the same with us in our relationship with God? I know far too often I jump into prayer with my agenda of prayer requests. Sure, I thank God and praise him too, but I listen far too little!

God speaks a divine language, and works in ways that are so much higher than our own human understanding can grasp (Isaiah 55:8-9). In order to learn his heart and understand what he is doing, I think we need to sit under his teaching and listen - learn the divine language he speaks and the deep wisdom he wants us to know. I’m not talking about some mystical meditation or literal language. But by reading scripture and meditating on it, by training our minds and bodies to be still, we can engage in listening prayer that can help us grow far more than rattling off our prayer lists ever could.

3. The more we immerse ourselves in the presence of God, the more clearly we grow to understand him.

This lesson flows directly from the first. The more we immerse ourselves in the presence of God, the more clearly and accurately we hear his voice. (Jeremiah 29:13, Isaiah 30:21) The other day my daughter said, “I think (such-and-such) means “I’m finished” because whenever we finish cutting or coloring or anything else, my teacher has us say it.” She’s learning the meanings of words through experience. I think through our own prayer time and experiences we learn to understand how God works, and learn to distinguish his voice from all of the other noise around us. Sometimes this comes through deeply painful disappointment and lament - when God seems to leave our prayers unanswered or allows something tragic to happen despite our heartfelt cries for help. But it’s in these times we need to press in all the more eagerly, because although I can’t guarantee that all of the “why” questions will be answered, I do believe God will meet us where we are and open our eyes to the ways he is at work in even the most disappointing situations (Psalm 34:18, Romans 8:28-29). The more time we spend with God, the more prayer adventures we embark on, the easier it becomes to recognize the voice of our Teacher. (John 10:27, Isaiah 28:23).

4. It’s normal to resist sitting down to pray at first - and even not enjoy it. Don’t give up! The reward will come.

I’m here to tell you that it’s normal to sometimes not like prayer. Or to find it boring. Or to feel like it’s a chore, or as Alana likes to say, “something to check off your to-do list like flossing your teeth.” So don’t feel like you need to pretend like prayer is always fun, because sometimes it isn’t. At least at first.

The Japanese immersion teachers told us (and parents of immersion students backed this up with experience) that the first few weeks or even first couple of months of immersion might be difficult. Some children find the environment so different from what they’re used to that they feel insecure or even like they’ve failed because they don’t understand Japanese. And in all of the kindergarten classes there were some tears the first few days of being left by parents.

We resist what isn’t comfortable.

Beginning to pray is sometimes uncomfortable. We’re used to instant gratification through clicks on social media, the ability to text messages instantly and receive real-time answers in seconds. We have trained our brains to have a short attention span. So it’s no wonder that the idea of being still is so foreign - it’s like sitting in a classroom where they speak a totally different language than we’re used to.

But when I look at the students who are several years into the immersion program, I see something. I see loyalty and pride in what they’ve accomplished, and an excitement and love for the program and the Japanese language in parents and children alike that is just amazing. Those who stick it out and move past the discomfort of those first weeks and months gain a reward that is so worth it.

In the same way, prayer might be difficult in the beginning. You may dread it, but if you make a date with God daily, weekly, whatever you decide is your goal, and stick to it…what you will find is that what began as an act of discipline will quickly turn into an act of love and joy.

If you take nothing else from this post, I’d encourage you right now to decide on setting aside even just five minutes each day to be still with God. It could be in the shower, in the car waiting to pick up kids - whatever. But make the date and stick to it for a week, and I know you will see transformation (and want to keep going!).

5. God loves us so much.

Seeing the teachers in the immersion classroom interacting with the kids is really amazing. Because they don’t speak English to the children, they are extremely animated, using hand gestures and facial expressions to convey the meaning of their words. There’s lots of jumping around, singing and repetition.

This is how I picture God. Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, noble and worthy of the praise of all creation. And yet. He chooses to humble himself to make himself known to us in all sorts of amazing ways. He didn’t have to make the flowers beautiful, but he did. He didn’t have to allow for us to communicate with him through prayer, but he did. The dignified King of Kings has chosen to jump up and down and sing and make hand gestures to show us that he loves us so, so very much. And then to send his only Son, the ultimate means of communication with us - to speak to us in our own language.

Oh, how he loves us.

What about you? Did any of this resonate with you? We would love to hear in the comments! If you need help structuring some time with God, we want to offer you our free scripture journal that you can use for a 5-minute devotion over the next thirty days.

My Crazy Prayer Adventure

My husband has had a lot of work stress lately, and this past weekend he started some projects at home and had one challenge after the other.

I so wanted him to have a victory.

He was trying to fix his bike at one point, and a spring shot across the garage. A spring he needed to finish the job. I helped him look...and look...and look some more, and even asked the kids to pray for him to find it. After a while, my exasperated husband told me to just forget it, it was gone for good. But I wouldn’t quit. I kept looking and praying; I wasn’t going to back down.

But then I heard the still, small voice of the Spirit asking, “who do you want to be glorified in this?”

And deep down I knew: myself.

I wanted to be right, to prove to my kids and my husband that God would come to the rescue - and if I’m being brutally honest, maybe to gloat a little that I knew it all along. There was also a part of me that didn’t want to stop looking because if I did and “God” didn’t produce the spring, maybe they’d doubt the power of prayer. Maybe they’d even doubt he existed. It boiled down to me wanting to prop God up by searching harder, taking matters into my own hands to rescue God’s honor. Just writing it down sounds so silly! But it’s so painfully true.

So instead of spinning my wheels continuing to look for the lost spring, I retired to my most private prayer closet when everyone is home: the bathroom with the door locked (and even then I often hear frantic knocking or kids calling for me through the door!). I went to God, sincerely asking him how he wanted me to pray.

I confessed that it was pride driving my relentless searching for the missing bike part. But as I reflected, I realized that under all the “me” junk, my heart’s desire actually was for my husband to know God loved him. I wanted him to see that God was concerned with every aspect of his life - even a bike repair. So as I continued talking with God, I became emboldened to pray passionately for him to show me where to look for the spring.

Something similar had happened years ago in another garage in another state and another life, and God had literally given me a picture in my mind of where in the garage to look for a lost bolt. I know it sounds crazy, and let me preface the exciting climax of the story by saying that I’m pretty pragmatic. I believe and am completely open to God working in miraculous, supernatural ways. But I try (maybe sometimes too hard) not to over-spiritualize things.

But as I closed my eyes and asked God to show me where the spring was, I actually saw a picture of a wheel of some sort. Not a bicycle wheel but something else, and I had a strong suspicion that if I went into the garage and found a wheel that looked like that, the spring would be nearby.

I puttered around for a few minutes and before too long found a kid’s scooter that had wheels that looked like the image in my mind. I started moving the scooter and some other things around it to look on the ground, when my eyes fell on the little spring.

What on earth.

Seriously, the idea that the God of the universe would see fit to help me - a prideful, imperfect, petty little human? It brings me to tears. It did that day, it did on Sunday as I sang praises to the Worthy Lamb who was slain to pay the penalty for my sins. It does now, as I realize that when I laid the desire of my heart on his altar, God graciously accepted it, dusted it off, and gave it right back to me.

For whatever reason, for no reason that I or my husband deserve, God wanted to show us that he loves us. That he cares for a lost spring. And if he cares for a tiny bike part, if he can help me in a pretty crazy-miraculous way find that spring, that same truth holds for the bigger things, the times when I don’t see the answer to my prayers come in the way I’d like.

I think our crazy prayer adventures do more than just teach us lessons about God and ourselves. I think they were meant to serve as building blocks - like individual bricks building on the foundation of the truths of what we know about God. Experiences that reinforce our love for him, and his love for us. Ebenezer stones that stand the test of time and space and prayers that seem to go unheard or unanswered. Because we can remember these times when God does something that only God could have done and stand on that Ebenezer stone when chaos is swirling around us.

I told my husband my story and ended with, “So here it is - God loves you!”

I think he felt loved.

Can I tell you something funny? I found the spring just as my husband had finished putting the old spring back on his bike. The new spring is still sitting right where I found it, kind of a miniature monument to God’s faithfulness and love. I wonder if it will do more good there than it ever would have done on the bike? I don’t know how long it will stay there, but I picture my husband walking past it as he goes from project to project in our garage, each time remembering when God answered a prayer that seemed really trivial in a way that expressed his love in a very profound way.

When was your last prayer adventure? Your next one may be just around the corner. Keep your eyes open!

Have You Prayed for Your Enemies Today?

My sweet middle child told me that two kids in a camp he has been attending have been calling him names. I told him about Matthew 5:43-44: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

His response was, “But Mom, I don’t want to do that. It’s too hard!”

I didn’t tell him all the things I’d like to do rather than pray for those two kids who took joy in insulting one of the extensions of my own heart. But I did tell him that it was hard for me too, and that maybe we could pray for them together.

He couldn’t bring himself to pray for those kids, but agreed to let me pray out loud and listen and agree silently. I prayed. It was hard. But as I prayed, it got less hard, and I began to see those “mean” kids through different eyes - as children Jesus died for.

My heart softened, and I hope and pray my son’s was too. As we prayed, it was as if God was giving us front row seats to watch the power and glory in the situation get taken from Satan and placed back at the feet of the One who rightly deserves it.

Thank you, Jesus for hard teaching. Thank you for being wise in ways we cannot understand from our human perspective, with our flawed hearts and minds.

I was going to wait until I heard how my son’s day went to share this story, to see if God did something amazing to prove to my son that he is real and desires to work through hard obedience to bring blessing and that he can redeem absolutely everything - and everyone. But I don’t want to wait. Because regardless of what events transpire - whether we see visible evidence of God’s hand working through difficult acts of obedience, he is working. He is glorified. We can count on it.

Do you have enemies you need to pray for, or are you facing a different kind of hard obedience today? Share with us in the blog comments, we would love to hear your story. Our prayer for you is that you would be empowered to walk in the wisdom of God today, and see him work in ways you never dreamed possible!

How to Recognize Prayer Guilt (and get rid of it once and for all!)

You may have prayer guilt and be painfully aware of it, or you may have been carrying it around for far too long without even recognizing it for what it is.

Either way, if you want a thriving prayer life, it has to go!

Guilt is a tool our enemy uses to drive a wedge between us and God, and sometimes I think it masquerades as other things, or goes undetected altogether. So first, I want to point out a few ways you can recognize prayer guilt in particular.

1. You’re constantly putting off prayer

At first glance, this might seem backward. Like putting off prayer is what causes the guilt in the first place. But when I think about my other relationships (the ones with humans, as opposed to the Almighty), I see a pattern. When I know I’ve been bad about returning the texts or calls of someone I care about and feel like I’ve been putting them off for a while, it makes it even harder for me to initiate contact because of the guilt I feel about being a bad friend. It makes our interactions awkward on my end when we do get together and I fall all over myself apologizing. If this kind of thing happens more than once, I feel the resistance becoming even more intense to make contact because I feel like I’ve failed them over and over. I’m sure I could go to therapy to figure out the roots of these feelings and patterns, but if it can happen with relationships with people, I know it can happen with our prayer lives.

Putting off prayer can be a symptom of prayer guilt.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. - James 4:8a (NKJV)

Stop prayer-crastinating and just do it!

Like now.

Set a timer for one minute before reading any further, and go to God in prayer. Confess you’ve been feeling distant from him, and then claim James 4:8, knowing that no matter how long it’s been since you’ve spoken to God, he is there. Time means nothing to God, and his nearness and willingness to talk to you has nothing to do with your faithfulness to pray. He is waiting for you to turn your heart to him with the deepest needs of your heart, or simply with praise and thanksgiving.

If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself. - 2 Timothy 2:13 (NIV)

2. You have the impression or feeling that God is displeased with you

When you think of God, do you sense his warm, loving gaze - or do you always feel like you’re not quite doing enough to earn his approval? If you resonate with the second option, you definitely have some unhealthy guilt issues, and prayer guilt could definitely be part of it.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8 (NIV)

Again we see that God’s love and approval, his desire to meet with you, has nothing to do with what you do or what you’ve done. He loves you with the kind of love the father showed the prodigal son in Luke 15: totally unconditional. If you think he is in heaven with arms crossed, shaking his head in disapproval, think again! Read Luke 15 and picture God as that loving father who rejoiced and celebrated the moment his long-lost son returned wanting to restore relationship. Don’t let the enemy convince you otherwise.

3. You aren’t living up to your own (or someone else’s) rigid standards for prayer

Do you have a picture in your mind about what prayer is “supposed” to look like? Rising early, carving out time with your Bible and making sure you spend at least 30 minutes on your knees? Or maybe creating a literal “prayer closet” like in the movie War Room? Do you feel like you’ve failed if you don’t live up to those expectations?

Those are great ways to pray - but they’re not for everyone in every stage of life. Your prayer life is a relationship with the Almighty God! It’s far too precious and amazing to be stuffed into a tiny box. Prayer can be walking in the sunshine and just feeling joy and thankfulness. It can be washing dishes and thinking of a friend in need and silently lifting her up to God, or singing until you’re hoarse to your favorite praise music in the car (not that I’ve been there or anything…).

Prayer is personal. It is fluid; your prayer routines will change during seasons of life, and that is okay. You have permission to find creative ways to talk to God that don’t necessarily look like a “quiet time.”

And David danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. So David and all the people of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord with shouts of joy and the blowing of rams’ horns. - 2 Samuel 6:14-15 (NIV)

What we want you to know today is that God is waiting. He loves you, and wants you to draw near to him wherever and however you can. We’re here to provide you with a community of women who want the same thing as you do: a vibrant, passionate, powerful prayer life!

If you have been in a prayer slump, experiencing prayer guilt, or simply want to carve out some time to dedicate to prayer, we want to offer you the opportunity to join us for another Praying Christian Women Online Prayer Retreat! We really hope you’ll join us for about an hour of prayer, reflection and community.

So how about you? Have you ever struggled with prayer guilt? What has helped you move past it?

I'm Praying for You Today

Hi, there. I just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you today. I know you have struggles. Some you share, some you hide from the world, and some you may even hide from yourself.

But God sees.

He sees you, and he loves you and maybe he even prompted me to write this today just for you, because he knew you needed it right at this moment. To know that you are seen, and to know that you are loved. Just as you are, right now:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” - Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)

“Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.” - Psalm 139:7-12 (NIV)

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” - Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” - Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” - 1 John 3:1a (NIV)

My prayer for you today:

Loving Father, I lift my sister up to you today. We praise you for being all-seeing, all-knowing, and I ask that you would search her heart and meet every single one of her needs today: body, mind and spirit. The ones she has shared, as well as the ones that are locked away, maybe even hidden from herself or disguised as other needs.

Open her eyes to your great love for her. Let your love wash over her like a crashing wave, awakening her to the beauty and wonder of your mighty hand at work in her, through her and all around her. Heighten her sense of your presence, until she is overflowing with the Joy of the Lord.

Let her encounter you as Moses did on the mountain, that all who meet her would see you reflected in her face and feel you in the touch of her hand. Plant a passion in her heart to meet with you, to connect with you in a powerful, life-changing way. Make your desires known to her, and let her heart reflect your own and her prayers magnify your perfect will and unleash power she’s never before seen in her life or the lives of others!

Thank you for this beautiful woman of God. Daughter of the King! Let your Spirit be a filter through which every thought passes, that you would protect her from lies and negative self-talk that come from her own thoughts or from the enemy’s attempts to tear her down. Allow only Truth about who she is in Christ and what she can do through him (Philippians 4:13: ANYTHING!) to remain.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” - 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

Empower her, embolden her and equip her to live out the abundant, God-glorifying life you created her for. In the powerful name of Jesus! Amen.

We always love hearing from you, so if you have something specific you’d like prayer for today, please e-mail us at connect@prayingchristianwomen.com.

Jaime Hampton

Praying Christian Women Ministries

Hope For the Future

I seem to be torn between being in awe of the amazing, beautiful planet God created and being terrified of what seems to be a hopelessly fallen and broken world. When I think of the future that awaits my children, I confess, there is often fear. But in the last 30 days, I’ve been posting 30 Days of Prayer for Your Children in our Praying Christian Women Community on Facebook, and have realized how amazing prayer can be: It can take negative thoughts and feelings like fears and transform them into heart cries to God that unleash world-changing power! After each prayer (many of which stemmed from my own fears for my kids), I’m left feeling hope and even excitement at the anticipation of how God is going to work.

If I could boil all of my prayers for my children down into one prayer, I think it would be the last prayer in our 30 Days of Prayer for Your Children: that they would be salt and light in a tasteless and increasingly dark world. This prayer gives me hope. It makes my heart swell with God-power and reminds me that they are the salt. They are the light. They are the menders of brokenness, the picker-uppers of the fallen-ness. They are the future, the Kingdom-bringers, the sword-of-the-Spirit-wielders. They are the keys that can unlock eternity for the lost, the lampstands to light the path to Jesus as the world around them grows dim. The darkness cannot touch the light, only draw more attention to it.

Thank you, God for the hope we have that none of the troubles or worries of the world can take away. Use our children in mighty ways, for your Kingdom and glory, and to bring love and hope and salt and light to the hurting and lost. In the powerful name of Jesus. Amen.

You can still watch today’s video and all of the others by joining our Praying Christian Women Community on Facebook. We would love to see you there! 

When You're Mad at God

It all started at Costco (as many frustrations do). My husband had dropped me off to “run in” and grab a couple of things we needed for an end-of-season hockey party for our oldest son. There was no chance of parking anywhere close to the store, so he told me he was going to get gas and I could call him when I was coming out. We’d come directly from getting me a replacement phone, and I thought it had finished restoring and was functional.

I was wrong.

When I went to call my husband, I realized the phone would not make calls. I thought surely it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out where he’d parked.

At Costco.

Let’s just say I got my exercise in for the day. I must have pushed that basket of groceries up and down every aisle of cars three times. Before then, I’d never realized how many black Ram pickups there are in our town. I prayed the entire time, variations of “Lord, please help me find him!” Then I shifted my prayers to “God, help him look up and notice me!” After a while I thought, “Maybe I need to ask God what to pray for.” So I pushed and walked and sweated and listened.

Silence.

This went on for about thirty minutes. As I trudged back to the entrance, sweaty and out of breath, I felt anger welling up in me. Surely, surely the God of the Universe could prompt my husband to come and get me. And then a quiet voice in my mind said:

“If he isn’t even powerful enough to answer this small, insignificant prayer, what makes you think he could answer the big ones?”

Have you been there? Maybe your anger with God was over something deeply painful. I’ve been there too. But this was the first time in a long time I’ve had this emotion, this frustration with the Almighty. In reality, this was such a trivial, silly situation. At any given time I could have run in, asked for the phone at customer service and called my husband.

But I think I was actually testing God.

I think deep down, I wanted a miraculous movement of time and space (or at least the movement of our black Ram pickup) in response to my perceived need. I wanted God to be at my beck and call, to do the thing I could see no reason for him not to do. Something I felt was for my best, for my ultimate “good.” But he didn’t.

I went into the store, waited in a Costco-sized line to speak to customer service, and they let me call from their phone. My husband was frustrated. He had been waiting a long time, and had been parked at the old Toys-R-Us next to Costco because he didn’t want to fight the parking lot traffic, which is why I didn’t see him. I got even angrier with God. Not only had he not done what I’d asked (have I mentioned how simple it would have been for him to cause my husband to see me wandering around the parking lot?), but he had caused my husband to be frustrated. How could God do that to me?

I got the groceries loaded up. My husband was in a bad mood because the kids had become restless in the back seat, and I just sat there thinking about the whole thing. And I came to realize that I have absolutely no idea how God works. Why?

Because he is God, and I am not.

I assumed it would have been for my ultimate good to be picked up immediately, or to have spotted the truck across the next parking lot. But I really have no idea what’s good for me. None at all. I have no idea what God is doing in my husband by letting him hang out with the kids for an hour while I flounder in Costco. No idea what he’s doing in me as I have this conversation and “work out my faith” through this mini-caricature of a prayer adventure. I have no idea if this post is reaching someone who is struggling with the same problem on a larger, more relevant scale, who might be encouraged to know that it’s normal to have these thoughts and questions. Maybe we would have caused a seven car pileup had we left when I’d wanted to.

Or maybe God knew I was just fine and had the free will to run in and call my husband at any point in time, and was frankly a little amused at my toddler-like testing.

But back to the person who is going through this on a deeper level. Like the time I prayed with all the faith I could muster that God would heal my mother from early-onset dementia. Or the time I prayed for my friend’s 8-year-old sister to survive being struck by a drunk driver while waiting at her bus stop. In both cases, my prayers were answered with a “no.” Even though I could see no good reason for my mom to endure such a terrible disease so young, or for this sweet little girl to have her life cut short because of a freak accident. The whole “God needed them more than we did” rang hollow. I was confused and angry. And I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. God can handle your anger.

Whether it’s life or death, or finding your car in the parking lot, I really believe that God wants us to acknowledge our disappointments, even when those disappointments are in him. He wants to answer back, maybe not to give pat answers, but to offer comfort and hope and healing through his word and through supernatural insights and revelations - but we have to open ourselves up to him, not run from him or shut him out.

In our interview with Kay Warren recently, she said that when she lost her son she was angry with God, but realized there was no place else to go. She believed he was the One True God, and couldn’t deny his existence. She couldn’t go to another religion or philosophy for comfort. So she turned to him in her disappointment, expressing it freely and looking to him for the peace that the world simply cannot give.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. - John 14:27 (NIV)

So my encouragement for you today is, if you are like me and come to a place in your prayer life where you’re experiencing frustration or even anger, and hearing the quiet voice in your head asking whether God cares about you, or even whether he is real - go to him with your questions. That voice is the Enemy. Listen for the voice of the Shepherd. He will meet you right where you are, because that is his promise:

12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:12-13 (NIV)

How about you? Have you ever been mad at God? How did you handle it? Share with us in the comments!

From Worrier to Warrior in Three Steps

Do you worry about your children? I used to tease my mom for being a “worry-wart” because she would fret and fuss and get herself all up in a tizzy for the smallest of things, particularly when they involved me - an only child. Boy, did that come back to bite me! Being a mom of three, I have the potential to be three times the worrier she ever was - and have been. In fact, I have spiraled into full-blown panic attacks at times, something I don’t think she ever dealt with. Sometimes I desperately wish she were still alive so I could apologize for being so insensitive, to let her know I “get it” and to tell her what an amazing mom she was to have kept it together for all of those years!

Shortly after she died, I came across a journal she had been keeping that included prayers for me during a particularly turbulent time in my life (the teenage years…need I say more?). Her journaling style wasn’t like mine, long-winded and wordy. She was concise, and to the point. But it was obvious she had poured the anxiety from her heart into God’s hands by writing them down on that page. I’m sure if I’d looked more closely, I might have seen some tear stains on the pages. And now, I can totally relate.

So back to you. Are you a “worry-wart” like me and like my mom? When your child has an issue, do you project all the worst-case scenarios this problem could cause him in the future? Do you become aware of a key life skill or habit you’ve neglected in her life and become convinced you’ve ruined her? Do you compare your children to others and fear they’re not measuring up, or that you’re inadequate as a parent?

Join the club.

But I’m not here to gather company so we can all wallow in our misery together. I’m here so together, with God’s help, we can move out of the muck and mire of being worriers onto the solid ground of being warriors.

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” ~ Psalm 40:2 (NIV)

I’m going to break it down into three easy steps we can all take each and every time we feel worry begin to gain a foothold in our lives, particularly in the area of our children:

1. Name the Worry

To keep worry vague or hidden, or to put on a mask so you look like you “have it all together” (which is in quotes because there’s no such thing) fuels worry. It gives Satan an opportunity to work in the dark, which is what he loves best.

If you’re concerned for your child, you need to think through, and ideally write down the nature of the worry. But don’t stop at “I’m worried because my son is failing math.” Dig deeper. Ask yourself:

What is the root of that worry, and what are the branches that spring out of it?

Are you afraid your son has an undiagnosed learning disability? Do you feel guilty for not helping him more with homework, or because you’ve over-scheduled him with extracurricular activities? Is this a sudden development that you’re afraid might signal emotional or mental health issues? Are you afraid that now your dreams for him following in your footsteps of being a math major in college, or his chances of maintaining participation in his favorite sport are shot? Because the root of your worry, and the worries that branch off from the worry can help you clarify the problems and open your mind to potential solutions, paving the way for the next steps to be even more effective and targeted.

2. Give the Worry to God

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

I actually tried to find a different Bible passage to use here because I feel like this one is used so often…but it’s so good. So perfect for the occasion. Step 2 in the process of moving from worrier to warrior is to give the worry to God. All of it. Your root worry, the branches of worry that spring off of it, and everything in between.

I think the best way to do this is on paper, but maybe you want to speak it out loud, or simply think it. You might even want to do something symbolic like write it on paper and tear it up or burn it after you pray it over to God. But however you do it, there is power in acknowledging God as the bearer of our burdens - and taking him up on the offer!

Another thing this passage mentions is thanksgiving. I think this is another important part of the prayer process. We need to place the worry in God’s hands, and give him thanks for who he is, and his care and involvement in the lives of our children. If you’re brave, you can even thank him for whatever situation you’ve been worrying about, welcoming God’s mighty hand to bring about good in the life of your child and others through it, even if the situation itself seems “bad”. God is out for the ultimate good of our children, and promises to work in all things to that end.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” ~ Romans 8:28 (NIV)

3. Be the Warrior

You’re already a warrior, whether you acknowledge it or not. This is where you walk in it.

As a parent, grandparent or caregiver, you’ve been given the authority to intercede with power and authority on behalf of your child. When you pray, unspeakable power is unleashed in the heavenlies and reality is affected, whether you perceive it or not.

Take the worries you’ve given over to God and spin them into positive statements, prayers, and verses to pray over your child. If we take the math example, you can pray that God would give your child a clear mind. That he would grow the fruit of patience and the character trait of perseverance through trial in him to allow him to succeed at math. That God would give you wisdom to know what steps to take to help your child, whether it be a tutor, personal help, evaluations, etc.

You can pray with your child as well, maybe together you can choose a verse to print out and place in his math binder, or to pray before school or homework each day, like Colossians 3:23:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters ~ Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Some battles for our children are private, not to be shared with our kids. But they can still know you’re praying for them in a general sense, and saying a prayer or blessing over them each morning or before they go to bed can be a powerful way of wielding the weapon of prayer in a way they can see.

I don’t know about you, but I’m fired up and ready to trade in my “worrier” status for WARRIOR status! If you haven’t already, we would love for you to join the Praying Christian Women Community on Facebook, where we’ve begun “30 Days of Prayer for Your Children,” a free video series where we pray together for our children every single day for 30 days! All you have to do is sign up for our private Facebook group and we will get you approved ASAP!

What about you? Do you have your own tried and true methods of moving from worrier to warrior? We’d love to know in the comments!

Prayer-Jitsu 101: How distractions can actually fuel your prayer life (Praying Christian Women Podcast #040)

by: Jaime Hampton

You sit down to pray. You close your eyes to all distractions, and begin to speak to God. You start pouring your heart out to him and then…

you remember you forgot to get milk at the grocery store earlier that day.

You begin again. You’re on a roll now, praying for your pastor’s recent health concerns…

when a picture of the unpaid electric bill you’ve been meaning to take care of flashes through your mind.

Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe not the exact details, but do you ever find when you’re trying your best to clear your mind and focus on God, the distractions come flooding in one by one, like little relentless attackers?

If so, we have good news: it’s actually okay for your mind to wander when you pray. It’s perfectly normal, and you are not a failure at prayer if you are easily distracted. Let’s say it again, because you really need to know this:

You are not a failure at prayer if you are easily distracted!

This is so important, because the feeling that you’re a prayer-failure is one of the biggest blocks to becoming the prayer warrior God is calling you to be! Satan would love for you to begin to pray, encounter distractions, and give up.

But did you know that you can actually use distractions to your advantage?

I like to think of it as “prayer jiu-jitsu” (“prayer-jitsu”?). Jiu-jitsu is a Japanese martial art in which you deflect the attack of your opponent by using their momentum against them. If we think of distractions as our opponent in “prayer-jitsu” we can create a strategy to actually use the momentum of our distractions to fuel our prayers. Alana has a prayer journaling technique that works like a charm, and I wanted to share it with you today. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Anticipate the Attack (Expect the Distractions)

Let’s face it, we live in a fast-paced world. Words and images flash past our screens more quickly than our poor brains were probably designed to handle. We have been trained to multi-task as a way of life. Is there any question why it’s so hard to quiet our minds to connect with God, or to create white space for meditation and reflection?

So stop expecting that sitting still is going to come easily right away…because it’s not.

Expect the distractions to come…because they will.

Anticipate the attack.

Step 2: Engage the Attacker (Embrace the Distractions)

So now you know the attack is coming. What are you going to do about it? In prayer-jitsu, you’re not going to fight the distractions head-on. You’re going to embrace them as they come at you! Just as in jiu-jitsu you engage the attacker, using his momentum to your benefit, you’re going to embrace your distractions…by writing them down, then continuing to pray. You’ll need to be armed with a journal or even just a scrap piece of paper and a pen, and when you think about the milk you forgot at the store…

Write it down.

As the picture of the unpaid bill flashes through your mind…

Write it down.

The mere act of writing your distractions on paper captures them, robbing them of any power they might have over the rest of your prayer time. They’re captives on your list, to be dealt with only when you decide to deal with them - on your terms.

Step 3: Leverage the Attacker’s Energy (Utilize the Distractions)

Since we’re practicing prayer-jitsu, we’re not going to be content with simply taking our attacker captive. We want to use his momentum to our benefit. This is where we use the distractions to actually fuel our prayers.

Here’s how it might look:

You’re praising God and remember the forgotten milk. You jot a note down so you remember to put milk on your grocery list for next time, and shift into praising God for providing the means to buy groceries for your family. This might remind you of the homeless shelter you volunteered at, and the woman with three young children who was interviewing for a job the following week. You go with it, and pray for God’s provision and for the interview to go well.

You move on to praying for your pastor’s health, and get distracted when you realize you haven’t paid the electric bill. You write down a reminder to remember to pay it later, and then shift into asking God to provide for the physical and financial needs of your pastor and his family, like utilities and housing.

By doing this, not only are all of your distractions dealt with immediately, but they are actually fuel for your prayers! And an added bonus is that it actually trains your mind to shift your thinking to prayer in many different, seemingly non-spiritual circumstances.

So what do you think, would Alana’s prayer-jitsu help you leverage distractions to fuel your prayer life? Try it, and let us know!

If you want to hear this week’s full “Coffee Break” episode where Alana and I talk more in-depth about what to do when you keep getting distracted while praying, you can listen on Libsyn, iTunes or Stitcher now. We can’t wait to see you there!

Five Healthy Prayer Goals That Won't Lead to Legalism (Praying Christian Women Podcast Episode #039)

by: Jaime Hampton

I have to confess, I’m not naturally wired to be a goal-setter. Most of the time, I fly by the seat of my pants and tend to live inside my own head. My podcast co-host Alana, on the other hand, is a goal-setting champ! As I’ve seen her goal-setting lead to incredible productivity and efficiency, it has inspired me to set more goals of my own in my home and work life.

But does goal-setting have a place in our prayer lives, or does that just lead to legalism?

Alana and I definitely believe that there is such a thing as unhealthy goal-setting: the kind that elevates your goals over your relationship with God. This kind of goal-setting serves to puff up, to make you feel super-spiritual and focus on numbers instead of striving toward intimacy with God and targeted prayers that unleash kingdom power!

So are there healthy goals for your prayer life that won’t lead to legalism? We think there are, and wanted to share five of them with you today!

1. Pray regularly for one unsaved friend

   It could be daily, weekly or whatever time frame works in your life. But asking God to bring one person to mind who doesn’t know him, and then praying regularly and faithfully for that person is a really great prayer goal to start with! As you go on, you might want to add a couple more to your list as you feel led, but make sure you don’t let things get out of hand, or you might be in danger of becoming overwhelmed.

   Tip: Use a digital or physical prayer reminder to make it even easier to remember to pray for your unsaved friend or family member. You can program it into your phone, or put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror or on the dash of your car. Be creative!

2. Writing daily in a gratitude journal

   You can’t go wrong by setting the goal to be more thankful! By writing daily in a gratitude journal, you’ll not only succeed in deepening your prayer life, but you will probably find that your entire outlook is transformed. So whether you begin your day writing all the things you’re thankful for to start the day with the right attitude, or end your day by reflecting on your blessings, this is absolutely a healthy prayer goal that will bless you and bring glory to God.

   Tip: If you find it hard to get started, use the alphabet to name things you’re thankful for from A to Z.

3. Making confession a regular part of your prayer time

   Confession can seem like a negative, or even scary concept. The idea of airing your dirty laundry to God (let alone anyone else!) can feel intimidating. But confession is such an important part of our prayer lives:

   Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. - James 5:16 (NIV)

   Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. - Proverbs 28:13 (NIV)

   If you haven’t already, set a goal to incorporate some form of confession into your prayer life, whether it’s taking time to sit prayerfully and write down confessions to God on a regular basis (the frequency is up to you), or to take it a step further and grab a trusted friend to be a prayer partner and incorporate confession to each other (see James 5:16 above!) into your prayer life.

   Tip: If you need a visual exercise to shift confession from being a negative to a positive experience, think of each sin as a brick, and your collective sins adding up like a brick wall standing between you and a more intimate relationship with God. As you write your confessions down and pray them to God and repent, imagine the bricks being smashed one by one until the wall is gone.

4. Praying out loud more during corporate prayer…or not as much!

   So maybe you’re the kind of person who would love to blend in with the drapes during a prayer meeting. Setting a prayer goal to pray more out loud during corporate prayer would definitely stretch you and allow you to grow in that area. As always, the specific goal is individual; don’t just decide to “pray out loud more” - set a specific goal like “I will pray out loud once a week in my women’s Bible study,” or “…once a month during our church business meeting.”

   But what if you’re like me, and you can be a little long-winded in prayer meetings? I wouldn’t necessarily use the term “prayer hog,” but I can get a little carried away…so I have sometimes set a goal for myself to listen more, pray out loud less. Or at least leave time for others to jump in before I start!

   Any prayer goal that stretches you is healthy, especially when your focus is on glorifying God and building up the body of Christ!

   Tip: If you’re terrified of praying out loud in front of a group, start small! Begin praying out loud in the car or in the shower. Then step it up and pray with small children, or even over the phone with a friend, or in your home with members of your family. These can all be mini-goals that can move you forward toward the bigger goal of praying out loud in public.

5. Joining a prayer group with other women

   This goal is so easy - it’s the goal that keeps on giving! Joining a prayer group can do so much to deepen relationships with other praying women, enhance your own prayer life, and glorify God. Of course no prayer group is perfect, but when you approach your prayer group with the right motives (to grow, to lift others up in prayer, and to fellowship with other praying Christian women), you are setting yourself up for success.

   Tip: If you can’t find a prayer group to join, start your own! (maybe that’s another blog post for another day…)

To listen in on our discussion about prayer goals, join us for episode 039 of the Praying Christian Women podcast…we can’t wait to see you there!